kaylanmalm.com

Digital Marketer : Statistician : Sociologist

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      31 Aug 2011

      My Phone Is Still Really Excited That Bin Laden Is Dead

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      I just opened the twitter app on my phone, it says it's up to date, but it's obvious that my phone is reminiscing. I'm not sure how this should make me feel.... about my phone, or America.

      Photo

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      5 May 2011

      Hey Internet, Stop Trying To Get Me To Watch The News!

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      I read a lot of news. I consume very little of that news in print and much prefer to read my news online. One thing I cannot stand is online news providers posting only video versions of some of their stories. CNN.com is usually the worst with almost half of their homepage stories being video links on a regular basis. I have no data to support this, just the anger in my soul. If I wanted to watch my news, I would turn on a TV. I don't like the commercials (they are sometimes longer than the story!) and it requires me to invest too much in a news story before I know what it is really about or how much I care. When I read a story, I can skim, usually for the part I don't already know- like someone being found guilty for a crime I have been following. I don't need to know the whole story, just what happened in court that day and it is much easier to do with text. Please let me read my news online, enough with the video. Honestly, it is a little lazy of you to just copy it over from the TV, don't you think? At least give me the option to read it! 
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      14 May 2010

      Conflicting Headlines

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      It is so hard in this situation to decide who to believe, oil executive or independent experts?


      Gulf Spill May Far Exceed Official Estimates

      BP Chief Says Gulf Oil Spill Is Relatively Small

      "BP has said repeatedly that there is no reliable way to measure the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico by looking at the oil gushing out of the pipe. But scientists say there are actually many proven techniques for doing just that.  Steven Wereley, an associate professor of mechanical engineering at Purdue University, analyzed videotape of the seafloor gusher using a technique called particle image velocimetry.  A computer program simply tracks particles and calculates how fast they are moving. Wereley put the BP video of the gusher into his computer. He made a few simple calculations and came up with an astonishing value for the rate of the oil spill: 70,000 barrels a day — much higher than the official estimate of 5,000 barrels a day." (1st Article)

      "BP CEO Tony Hayward told Britain's The Guardian newspaper that the spill was small in proportion to the Gulf. The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume," Hayward said. " (2nd Article)
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      13 May 2010

      Don't let women touch you.

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      According to Yahoo News (Reuters), people are comforted by the touch of a lady.  Love the headline!

      Female touch can influence decisions, behaviour - study

      NEW YORK (Reuters) – Just a pat on the back or a reassuring touch on the arm can be a powerful tool to influence behaviour, according to new research.
      And it could determine whether someone invests in a risky financial venture or decides to play it safe.
      "It's a very effective way of suddenly influencing people's behaviour without them realizing they are being influenced," said Jonathan Levav, a professor of business and marketing at Columbia University in New York.
      "If you're a doctor, or are in sales, this is a form of communication you might want to keep in mind," he added in an interview.
      Levav 's findings, which are reported in the journal Psychological Science, are based on a series of experiments involving touch.
      In one study 67 men and women were asked to choose between a cash payoff and a risky gamble and then touched on the shoulder and back by male and female researchers.
      Levav and his co-author Jennifer Argo, of the University of Alberta in Canada, found was that both sexes were more likely to select gambles with no guarantees of a payoff if they had been made to feel more comfortable, especially if touched by a woman.
      In another experiment, 105 people were asked to allocate their money between two investments -- a bond that delivered a four percent yearly return or a risky deal with no guaranteed return.
      Again, people who were lightly touched on the shoulder by a woman were more likely to select the option with the most risk.
      Levav and Argo suggested that the connection between comfort and risk goes back to our earliest recollections of human bonding.
      "A simple pat on the back of the shoulder by a female in a way that connotes support may evoke feelings that are similar to the sense of security afforded by a mother's comforting touch in infancy," they wrote in the study.

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      11 May 2010

      Dear Bethany Brinton, I'm embarrassed for you.

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      I have to apologize for all the times when I corrected people and said I wish they would stop stereotyping Utahns as ignorant.  While I still think most of you are wrong, I would like to personally thank Bethany Brinton for contributing material for the ones that are right.

      In this Public Forum letter, Bethany proceeds to make an ass out of herself. 

      Here is the text of the letter:

      New Pornographers?

      Public Forum Letter

      Updated: 05/07/2010 02:09:25 PM MDT

      In this time of moral and financial crisis, Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker is going to build a stage in Pioneer Park and invite the rock group the New Pornographers perform ("Twilight to bring booze, big acts to Salt Lake City's Pioneer Park -- will it stay?" Tribune , April 30). Please tell me this is a final April Fool's joke.

      Considering Becker's agenda of "fairness," to whom is even the name "New Pornographers" being fair to? Is it fair to the victims of the 6,500 registered sex offenders in Utah? Why does Becker want to promote thoughts about pornography, which contributes to crimes against women and children? Whose side is he on?

      The Twilight Concerts also announced that priority is to bring in alcohol for the concert.

      My father was killed by a drunken driver. Is Becker going to provide rides for those who get drunk from the alcohol he brings in for a city event?

      To be fair to the majority of citizens, how about some decent, respectful entertainment for them? I asked my neighbors in the Avenues what they thought of bringing the New Pornographers and they were equally disturbed.

      Bethany Brinton

      Salt Lake City

      Oh, Bethany, where do we start? Someone at OregonLive.com already posted a blog making fun of you and there is another one here, here and here (I could go on).  You are a web celebrity! Lucky for me the comments on this letter get the point across pretty well, some of my favorites are below, but a couple of things to consider:

      1.) No one is forcing you to go- if you don't like it, don't attend.  It's like church to me, I don't like it so I don't go.
      2.) We are sorry to hear about your father, but one beer doesn't make anyone drunk and it's a LEGAL choice that we can all make to drink or not.  There are controls in place to find and punish those that do not abide by the laws as is the case with anything that could lead to harm.  Believe it or not, it takes more alcohol than most of us would like to get us drunk- if a single glass would do the trick we would all have more money...
      3.) ...to spend on porn.   Oppression has led this state to be the number one consumer of porn online and among the highest for the use of antidepressants. So, it is no wonder that the New Pornographers are coming to Utah to corner one of the fastest growing markets in the country. They aren't real pornographers?!  Oops.  Also, we should talk about your causal argument about pornography and sex crimes, you are walking a slippery slope with that argument. 
      4.) The hipsters are the real threat to this city.

      Some of the comments I greatly enjoyed (I stopped reading 4 pages in):

      "New Pornographers" is just the name of the band. It has nothing to do with their performance.

         
         The Pixies-not affiliated with magic in any way
         Modest Mouse-are humans and might be a tad arrogant
         Barenaked Ladies-are fully clothed and actually men
         Violent Femmes-are not violent, possibly femmy though 
         Pink Floyd-no one is named Floyd, nor pink
         Police-no affiliation with law enforcement
         Doors-are actually people, not windows either
         Dixie Chicks-are not transexuals
         The Cure-didn't actually cure anyone

            You might be surprised to discover that the Black Eyed Peas, Roots, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Cake, Meatloaf,Korn,Bread, Cream, Tonic,MOldy Peaches,Blind Melon,Cranberries,Hot Chip, The Eels,Strawberry Alarm Clock,Capt Beefheart,Vanilla Ice, String Cheese Incident, Old Crow Medicine Show,Lemonheads,Ice Cube,Hot Tuna, Humble Pie, and Wavy Gravy are all inedible."

      -moethecrow

      "Let me begin by saying that my reason for commenting has nothing to do with this band. I am impartial to their music and am not a fan. I am commenting because I am disturbed that people as ignorant as Bethany live in my city. This motivated me to register as a user and leave a comment.

            I would like to address your points in this letter starting with the first sentence. Contrary to what you may believe we are not in a time of "moral crisis". In fact, people less pessimistic with knowledge of history would argue that the society we live in now is no less moral or civilized than any other time in history.

            In reference to your comments about being "fair", I would ask you what would you consider "fair"? Preventing the performance in Salt Lake City of all bands with names that might be misinterpreted by ignorant people as offensive? Would that be "fair" to those tax paying citizens who enjoy these bands? People who aren't so scared of a band's name that they realize something this insignificant isn't going to influence sexual crime. If you want to prevent sexual crime why don't you start by asking the Pope why the catholic church, a "moral" organization, protects pedophiles?

            I suppose if we were in the 50s or 60s right now you would probably be one of the ones protesting Elvis Presley or The Beatles because they were causing a "moral crisis" by shaking their hips provocatively.

            On the topic of alcohol at the event. I am sorry about your father. He was killed by an irresponsible person who has no excuse. Drinking and driving is wrong, period. However, I along with the majority of the people who drink at these events drink responsibly. I am offended at the assumption that simply because you drink, you are irresponsible. Or that just because you enjoy drinking one or two beers that you even get drunk.

            In conclusion, if you don't like the name of this band or are offending by drinking... don't go."

      -dtaylor

      "Let's give bethany a little bit of credit. I mean, you have to work pretty hard to be that narrow minded. Bethany, if you are reading this please tell us what informed your opinion. I'm incredibly curious."
      -seldomseensmith
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      11 May 2010

      I'm picking on The Salt Lake Tribune again.

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      Polygamy

       

      An actual conversation brought to you by whomever has the amazing(ly awful) job of running the twitter handle at the Salt Lake Tribune and yours truly.  I would like to note that I have nothing against this person on the other end of the twitter line, but I think their newspaper is awful sometimes and what makes it even more unfortunate is that it is the best option in Utah.

      somecoolgal 'Jazz, Lakers have different goals in Game 4' is by far the worst headline from @sltrib today (so far)

      sltrib @somecoolgal We use dummy heads until a copy editor can write something better... sometimes they're not so hot. :)

      somecoolgal @sltrib You guys might be better off with {Headline Coming Soon}, honestly ;-)

      sltrib @somecoolgal LOL I'll suggest that... something makes me think that's not going to fly...

      Also, this is the same newspaper that I took issue with online last fall when I asked why in the Utah news section there was a Polygamy header- we all know Utah needs more people thinking we are all polygamists.  The answer I got was simply that it polygamy stories have some of the highest readership rates.  I pointed them to one of their own articles that showed otherwise- we prefer stories about students having sex with their students- but the section still exists.

      Update:  I wrote this blog earlier this evening and I just checked, apparently the copy editor never had time to write something better because the headline remained the same. 

       

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  • kaylanmalm.com

    I am currently a Product Strategist at iCrossing in charge of Business Intelligence. Formerly, I was the Manager of Advanced Analytics. I'm a marketer, mathematician, sociologist, student of the web, crafter of my own social network, amateur knitter and potter, people watcher, Red Cross disaster volunteer, and warrior against clutter.

    I do all of this from Salt Lake City, UT. Don't knock it until you've lived here!

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